Back in May, I was listening to two of my best friends ramble on about how I needed to roll on this excursion that they were planning for the summer. It had been a tough winter, replete with personal and professional drama, and I was told that I needed to reward myself for making it through by going on a crew trip. We’d party, we’d bond, we’d hang out with pretty girls, we’d embarrass our nation, etc. It all sounded well and good until they told me of the vacation destination that they had in mind: Stockholm, Sweden.
Cue the Ben Stein face. “Dude. Sweden? Really? You want me to spend thousands of dollars for a week of blonde women and meatballs?!” Mind you, I don’t have a problem with either of those things, (although one of them is imminently more appealing than the other). It was more a question of whether Stockholm had anything else to offer besides Aryan lovelies and spheres of gas-inducing beef.
I need to clear up how wrong I was, for the record. Literally. Stockholm in the summer was so much fun that I had to write a song about it. You can check it out at the bottom of this post.
Of course, it could be argued that the feel-good, synth-hop track that spilled out of my ticker and noggin paints a somewhat lopsided view of things. I mean, it’s basically all about partying and women…but hey, it’s rap music. Everybody knows that hip-hop ain’t capable of exploring such profound notions as the grandeur of cultural exchange or delight in the brotherhood of man, right? Shut the fuck up, Donny.
Seriously though, Stockholm is a fantastic place, full of warm, friendly people. I think I met one mean person the entire time I was there, and that was a clerk at a convenience store. Since society apparently values me more than it does her, I’m not even going to count that little unfortunate blip on the Scandinavian radar. Plus, the gorgeous, extravagantly welcoming women who served as our hosts more than made up for her stank ass. Tack mycket!
Anyway, I hope you dig the track. Imagine that you’re in your own happy place as you listen, and you’ll get the feel for what Stockholm means to me now. Of course with my luck, the next time I go there I’ll get beaten by poliser or blown up by an anti-terrorist terrorist or something. Whatever.
In the meantime, I miss you, Stockholm.
8 responses to “Stockholm Syndrome”
Stockholm misses you!
Stop that! It’s not cool to make a grown man cry, especially when he’s going through so much trouble to look cool.
Awwww…..I honestly think you should move there. Seriously. Seems like you need it in your life. 🙂 s/n I can’t find the music. Where can I listen to the tune dude?
You should see a player right at the bottom of the post. No, I don’t mean me. I’m talkin’ about a MEDIA player. If you don’t, gimme a shout. Oh, and as far as moving there, you know how that goes. Fantasies are like spoiled rich kids: they tend to fall apart once you put them in the real world.
I agree, fantasies tend to fall apart once you put them in the real world. That’s why the fantasy shouldn’t be to live in Sweden forever, it should just be to live in Sweden for the first two-three years of your kids’ lives so that you and your beautiful-perfect-gender equal-not wanting to be put on a pedestal-wife can take advantage of the 480 days of paid parental leave per kid. Preferably you’d split those days evenly and you would also perhaps spend a couple of months of leave on a beach somewhere in Southeast Asia or the Caribbean, or why not Brazil. Hey you choose. The government pays. And to make sure it works, you’re on leave for one kid and she’s on leave for the other, at the same time. And then when all of this is over you move back to the US and get the kids active in social justice.
Just saying…… and this is not even a fantasy. It’s a potential reality.
Saw the player. Right in my face and I didn’t even notice. smh I like the tune. It’s a feel good song. Good job sir. I believe, more now than ever, “Send off to Stockholm: Scissorhands Style” should commence.
Glad you liked it, but damn it sounds like somebody is eager to get my ass out the country! Hahahaha!
Yes it reminds me a lot of Camp Lo’s Luchini…but current. And that is still my jam. And you’re funny. But eager is completely incorrect. It’s just that I wouldn’t mind if you left the country……… 🙂 Being happy and in that “mental place/space”, you talked about in the song, should be priority.